April 2nd Can't Come Fast Enough
by JoKer-Neal
Summary: It's April Fool's Day yet again, however things are a little different this year, for Kiku has come up with an organized system to ensure order and hilarity all at the same time…but what does this have to do with sizzling bacon among other strange things?
1. April Fool's: Kiku Style!

**Description:** It's April Fool's Day yet again, however things are a little different this year, for Kiku has come up with an organized system to ensure order and hilarity all at the same time…but what does this have to do with sizzling bacon among other strange things?

**Disclaimer: **I do not own APH. A tragedy I know, but in a perfect world............................I'm sure I would have to fight off legions of other fans to own it any way.

**Author's Note: **Yay! I'm finally back on here! I thought I should write an April Fool's story for Hetalia...though I really should finish What Hit Me which I so pitifully abandoned. T.T Oh well, here's the first chapter! (short I know, but...I'm supposed to be studying so don't tell my room mate!)

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The meeting of the world was about to commence, but this was no ordinary meeting, oh no. It was March 31st, the day before the most anticipated holiday of the year for every nation and micro-nation alike. Neither politics nor crises were to be discussed today, but rather an even more important matter was to be decided upon. The annual April Fool's Day event had yet to be decided on; news that made those in the meeting room either twitch in excitement or twitch in fear. The years before, the nations had decided to try and organize the festivities through a series of nominations and votes; this however, did not go over so well. Let's just say all hell broke loose on that one day of the year. The following years it was decided that every year, someone different would decide by themselves on an event. This proved to be a little more manageable, but perhaps a bit more damaging to the nerves as well.

Over the past 4 years, 4 nations had been in charge of their own respective April Fool's Day: Gilbert, Elizabeta, Yao, and Ivan. Chosen randomly of course, this fateful year it was Kiku's turn to come up with an event. Majority could only guess of his plans for them all, though I'm sure they all prayed on the inside they wouldn't have a repeat of Elizabeta's catastrophe, 4 years prior. The thought of it made every male in the room shiver; but of course the female nations got off the hook.

Alfred and Matthew sat nearest Kiku on his right side at the head of the table; one grinning madly, the other trying to look cheerful. The European nations sat mostly in silence save for a few murmurs here and there; the Baltics of course putting as many people as possible in between them and Ivan. The Asian nations sat quietly as well, all-knowing and aware of Kiku's plans (of course Kiku would tell those close to him). Kiku himself was standing, shifting through a few papers in front of him. He might as well start the meeting soon or the room might burst from tension and pressure.

"Ah-hem…If…if I may start this meeting please?" Kiku's soft voice drifted across the spacious room as the small murmurs and whispers dulled.

"_Arigato gozaimasu. _Well, I am sure all of you know why we have gathered here today. Tomorrow is April Fool's Day and I must announce the event I have chosen for us to participate in. If you notice the paper envelopes I have placed in front of each of you…"

Kiku paused to indicate the brightly colored packages lying in front of every nation. "…inside of each, there is a piece of paper. On the paper you will find sets of instructions, all unique and different in their own ways. These are not intended for you yourself, but rather are to be given to another of your own personal choice. If presented one of these papers you are obligated to follow out the orders, no matter the circumstances."

All eyes now stared eagerly and wonderingly down at the envelopes scattered across the table. Surprisingly enough, no one moved or made a sound.

"_Ano…_The envelopes are not to be given out until tomorrow. Please use tonight to decide who you will be giving your envelope to…and please do not tell anyone of what is written inside your own personal envelope. _Sore ga subete desu._"

With that, Kiku collected his papers and silently exited the room; the door closing with a soft click. Every nation stared at the door, puzzling over what "_sore ga subete desu" _could possibly mean.

After a moment of complete silence the door re-opened and Kiku poked his head inside. "_Gomennasai_, I forgot to mention…you may open the envelopes." As soon as the Japanese man's head retreated back through the doorway, the sound of scraping chairs and ripping paper could be heard all throughout the room.

No one had any idea what kind of things were written on the small pieces of paper, and eager to find out, every nation attempted to snag the 'best' one. As everyone silently read over their particular instructions, the room began to empty out as one by one the nations left to return home.

Feliciano and Lovino walked leisurely out of the room; the younger brother looking a little puzzled and the elder smiling wickedly.

Alfred dragged Matthew as quickly as he could down the hallway, all the while laughing about how funny it would be to see Arthur do _that, _whatever _that _could possibly be.

Ludwig was grumbling about his paper being perverted while Gilbert pushed him through the doorway, Gilbird trailing behind; perhaps this wasn't going to be a so not awesome April Fool's Day after all.

Francis ranted about how romantic his instructions sounded to Arthur as the latter dragged a whining Peter behind him. He was sure he had heard Alfred mention his name.

Yao quickly hurried down the hallway as he followed behind Yong Soo and Hong Kong; he could feel a sense of danger approaching rapidly but he might have been imagining it.

Ivan strolled out of the meeting room, wearing his usual unnerving smile as Raivis, Toris, and Eduard trailed behind the taller man. Hopefully the Russian wouldn't try to give any of them his instructions.

Until tomorrow, none of them knew what exactly was in store for them...but perhaps they didn't really want to know.

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**Author's Note: **I was planning on writing this before today, but I forgot/got lazy about it as I usually do. This story takes place on April Fool's Day, but I won't be able to finish it by probably anywhere near tomorrow. Whoops! Oh well, it doesn't really matter...please review! I know not much has happened yet but I have big plans for the following chapters...muahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thank you! :) . XD ^_^


	2. A Trio of Blondes and the Forgotten 4th

**Description: **It's April Fool's Day yet again, however things are a little different this year, for Kiku has come up with an organized system to ensure order and hilarity all at the same time…but what does this have to do with sizzling bacon among other strange things?

**Disclaimer: **I do not own APH. A tragedy I know, but in a perfect world…………..I'm sure I would have to fight off legions of other fans to own it any way.

**Author's Note: **I meant to update yesterday but some unforeseen difficulties came up. _Sigh…_I should've updated this afternoon but I was feeling particularly lazy and I took a nap. Now I'm skipping my astronomy class…I'm such a bad student, how did I even get into college, I wonder? Haha…I guess I should be more grateful…Anyway, enjoy.

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8:30 in the morning the next day, the nations all gathered once more inside the conference room they had all so eagerly left the day before. Of course they weren't there for another meeting for there was not much to discuss. However, no matter how much some of them tried to deny it, the calendar clearly stated it was the 1st of April; more commonly called April Fool's Day. Today they were only gathering to start the festivities and to make sure no one tried to hide out in some secluded location, though I'm sure a few of them probably tried.

The tension in the room was at an all-time high as the many nations chatted among themselves in anticipation. Kiku had mentioned the day before that no notes were to be given or shared at all before the 1st, not that anyone really listened to him. A flurry of text messages circled around the previous evening, and by now almost everyone knew exactly who if anyone was going to target them today.

At this point Kiku was handing out various objects and articles of clothing, he himself not participating in the event this year. Today he would be wandering around from group to group, hopefully snagging a few pictures to add to the "wall of fools" which was situated behind the conference table. It held all the past hilarities and golden moments of every April Fool's Day any of the countries had participated in; a nice reminder to any of those who wished to remember and a smack in the face to those who really only wanted to forget.

Arthur personally would rather forget about his past experiences with this dreadful day, and if possible, erase it from the calendar entirely. He was sure this year was going to be the worst of them all considering the text he received from both Francis _and _Alfred. They hadn't told him any details or anything so Arthur could only guess at what they had in store for him, but the worst part was he could only return the favor to one of them. Whatever they would make him do he would want to pay them back for it, but he only had one piece of paper and only enough for one of the annoying bastards.

"Bloody hell, April 2nd can't come fast enough…I just hope I survive the day." He took one last longing glance at the door with the exit sign above it in multiple languages before turning his attention to Kiku who had stood up.

"I only have a few things to say before you all go enjoy the day. I ask you please refrain from unnecessary violence and that to any who receive a note to please follow the instructions written. I believe I have already handed out the necessary items for today…"

Now that Arthur looked closer, he could see that Alfred was holding some sort of strange cloth; a costume for him perhaps? He sure hoped not.

"_Minna, _please enjoy your day_._"

The sound of scraping chairs could be heard throughout the room as many people quickly left in groups of two or three. Arthur just caught a glance of Elizabeta dragging Roderich and Gilbert out the door…or maybe it was Gilbert dragging Roderich and Elizabeta, he couldn't really tell in all the confusion.

Soon enough all that remained were himself, Alfred, Francis, Kiku, and surprisingly enough Matthew of all people.

"Why don't we move out to the courtyard?" Alfred was grinning like crazy, already dragging Arthur by the arm before he had the chance to say anything.

"You git! Let go, I can walk you know!"

The five of them proceeded out to the small courtyard behind the meeting building. A place where Alfred supposed was the perfect area to instigate his note into action. He quickly tossed the costume he was holding at Arthur along with his note before turning on the video camera.

"You don't have to look so traumatized, Iggy! My note is short and sweet…though I suppose this footage will last forever once it's up on the internet, right!? Haha!"

"What?" Arthur stared at the strange costume, vaguely reminded of bacon. He uncrumpled the note Alfred had tossed at him and suddenly his words made perfect sense to him. "You've got to be bloody kidding me you fricking git! There is absolutely no way in hell I am going to agree to do this! I'm not that stupid!"

"_Non? _Obviously you must be stupid if you cannot even remember what Kiku said 2 seconds ago." Francis absentmindedly flicked his hair out of his face and snickered. "Did he not say to any who receive a note, please follow the instructions written?"

"Do it quickly and it will be less painful….." Matthew muttered in the background, though of course he was completely ignored.

"You don't really expect me to put this atrocity of clothing on, do you!? I'd look like a…well I'd look out of my mind. Go find someone else to do this for you!"

Alfred exchanged glances with Francis as the both of them advanced on Arthur. "I thought you'd say that, so we came prepared." As the two of them pounced on the poor Englishman, Kiku snapped another photo as he waited for them to be done. Once the three of them straightened up again, Kiku had to suppress a laugh at the sight of Arthur in the ridiculous bacon outfit.

By now Alfred and Francis had already lost all self-restraint and were practically rolling on the floor, but Alfred managed to keep his balance as he pushed the record button. "Go on,_ pff, _do your thing…hehehe!!"

Arthur could hear the click of Kiku's camera as he embarrassingly lay down on the ground. His face was completely red and he knew for sure he wouldn't last through another note after this one.

"We're waiting _Angleterre!_"

"S-shut up!" Arthur took a deep breath and halfheartedly started to flop around awkwardly like a fish out of water. _If I live through this I am going to strangle- no, murder them ten times over!_

"Hahaha! You can do better than that Iggy!"

The Brit scowled to himself, unable to force himself to look upwards at any of them. He flopped around a little more and then tried rolling over a few times. Obviously he looked quite odd as Arthur heard a few more clicks before he tried to attempt movement that slightly resembled the worm. Nothing he tried ended in success, but after what seemed like hours, Alfred finally closed the video camera and stopped laughing enough to help Arthur up.

"That was pure gold, Iggy! Hahaha! You should've seen yourself! Haha! You kill me, you really do!"

"Yeah? Well you will be dead once I'm through with the both of you! You two are idiots and complete bastards!" Arthur furiously ripped off the costume and threw it into the bushes all the while trying to cover up the blush that lingered on his face.

"I must say that was very well done Arthur-san. However, it seems you are not quite done yet."

"Oh, Kiku you don't have to worry about that. Arthur and I already made arrangements for tonight. Well, I really should be going now- GYAAH!"

Arthur slammed his note in Francis' face, forcing the other to stumble backwards and fall unceremoniously onto the ground. "I think I've made my decision about my note, but luckily for you it's nothing nearly as bad as the note Alfred gave to me."

"N-note?" Francis peeled the small piece of paper off of his face and stared at it inquisitively; his eyes glancing over the small print. "_Angleterre, _this is barely a trouble at all. If I read this correctly, all I have to do is refrain from saying any words containing "a", "e", or "s" correct?"

"Yes, starting right now. I think you'll find this task a little more difficult than you originally anticipate Francis."

"It's still a pretty lame note, Iggy. I mean really. He doesn't even really have to do anything."

"Thi-… don't worry, I'm ok. Not difficult for m-…_pour moi. _To brunch?"

"Brunch sounds like an awesome idea Francis! I know this great burger joint down the street; my treat! I'll show the video to you when we get there, okay? I really wish you could've seen yourself!"

"Drop it, would you!? Why would you think I would want to eat with you in any case? Is your head full of hamburgers as well?!"

"Family should stick together! Hey, we should go find Mattie! He seemed a little down yesterday!"

"I'm right here, Alfred…I actually wanted to give you my-"

"If you all are done here, then I shall be leaving. Thank you for the pictures." Kiku gave a small bow and hurried off down the street; most likely off to find some of the other nations.

"Yeah! Let's go! Come on Iggy! The hamburgers are waiting for us!!!"

"Not so fast Alfrreeeeedddd!!!" The trio of blondes raced down the sidewalk to brunch as the 4th hurried quickly behind, completely forgotten at the moment. Would anyone be able to listen to him long enough so that he could give Alfred his note?

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**Note #1: Recipient must be videotaped flopping around on the ground like a piece of sizzling bacon (costume optional: see Kiku for costume if so desired by giver).**

**Note #2: Recipient must refrain from saying any word that contains the letters "a, e, and s" for the entire day or until the giver so desires. (Cannot last longer than 24 hours from the time the recipient begins)**

**Author's Note: **Yay, 2nd chapter done! I know the note Arthur gave to Francis is lame but it is a fairly good combination for the note that Francis gave to Arthur. Next chapter will feature Matthew's note to Alfred. Depending on how long it will be I might also start with Feliciano and Ludwig's notes as well. Until next time~ Please review!


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